Tag: traumatic bonding

For many years I have wondered why people who are in abusive relationships stay, why they take it and allow someone else to have so much control over them, how they could feel love for the abuser. To someone who hasn’t been there it is very hard to grasp the dynamics involved in what the abused person goes through. Traumatic bonding could help many people, men and women, understand their unhealthy attachment to the abuser. I think Stockholm Syndrome and Traumatic Attachment have a lot in common and in some ways is the same thing just for different kinds of abusive relationship, but I am getting off track.

It is helpful to understand that this dynamic between the abuser and the abused is what makes the abused stay keeps them holding on and loving and giving. It is interesting to note that like Pavlov’s dogs a human being’s mind functions similarly. If given love and affection and praise intermittently a person is likely to stay even if being abused. Ah the human mind what a wonder it is. I think this is helpful for someone in an abusive relationship and perhaps to someone who knows someone who is in an abusive relationship.

To heal you have to know what you are dealing with.