Somewhere I’m not supposed to be…

I know that something is not right, I know deep down inside.
A part of me doesn’t want to face the truth; all it wants to do is hide
But what lies in darkness, always comes to light

But I hope that my intuition will help to make things right
If I have my way, these will be the last words I’ll ever need to say
So I say them to you now, before we’re lead astray

I can look into the horizon and I can dream up clear blue skies
And I can satisfy myself by living in a lie,And you and I, that’s a lie, because there’s always something getting in between.

Something and someone that poses as a barrier so I’ll never get to reach you even if I try

I wonder how it is that you reach me.
You’re not for me.
That doesn’t stop me from wanting you
It just hovers like a challenge
I’ll never get to conquer

And no matter what you do, or what you say, I know deep down inside of me

That I’m somewhere I’m not supposed to be.

I feel like I’m wearing his shoes, and even if you like me in them,
They still don’t fit the same I feel like I’m doing his job and he still gets paid.

It’s always going to be there, this insatiable desire to be someone I wasn’t made to be.

To be the one for you
When the one for you already exists…
I can add a mile, but I’ll never measure up
and fate has made sure that I’ll never gain your trust.

And still I wanna try, because that’s what people do.
They fight against all odds, and if we give up we never find love.

And I won’t find that by wearing someone else’s shoes
And when I’m with you, it’s beautiful but I always feel
That I’m somewhere I’m not supposed to be.

I won’t be a fool, not for you and not for me.
I absolutely refuse to make myself believe that I’m some where, when I really have no idea where I am.

Because underneath it all, I’ll always be lost when it comes to you
When it comes to you I will always be expendable…
I don’t exist…

I’m just this secret that I don’t wanna be.
You happy with that?
I’m not.

I think the best part of me is going to slip through your fingers
Like how you’re slipping through mine I may be wrong.

And I don’t think I’ll ever be me, If I have to stay somewhere I’m not supposed to be. 

By Kia Marie Murray