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Articles

Re: Malignant Optimism: The Ugly Duckling

What Was I Thinking?
by Lynn S.

Just what was I thinking in excusing his faults?
Why did I put up with his verbal assaults?
I ignored contradictions, saying “He’s just that way.”
I honestly thought he would grow up someday.

I first tried acceptance to dissuade all his rants.
If love conquers all, then he, too, had a chance.
If he could believe my intentions were true
Then he’d surely find peace. Why, he’d be like brand new!

To know what I now know would have saved me some strife.
He’ll always be frightened of love and of life,
Refusing acceptance of guilt or of blame.
His faults lie with others. It’s always the same.

Just what was I thinking in trying to be kind?
What made me persist when no truth I could find?
I trusted that underneath all of his muck
Was a swan in disguise. Now I just see a duck.

http://forum2.aimoo.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/At-The-End-of-the-Sky-by-LynnS-Read-Only/The-Ugly-Duckling-Malignant-Optimism-1-370230.html

Categories
Poetry

Rumi – The Many Wines

God has given us a dark wine so potent that, drinking it, we leave the two worlds.

God has put into the form of hashish a power to deliver the taster from self-consciousness.

God has made sleep so that it erases every thought.

God made Majnun love Layla so much

that just her dog would cause confusion in him.

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Health Inspirational Others Videos

KONY 2012

KONY 2012 is a film and campaign by Invisible Children that aims to make Joseph Kony famous, not to celebrate him, but to raise support for his arrest and set a precedent for international justice.

HOW TO HELP:
Join TRI or Donate to Invisible Children: http://bit.ly/yp5Ffv
Purchase KONY 2012 products: http://invisiblechildrenstore.myshopify.com/
Sign the Pledge: http://www.causes.com/causes/227-invisible-children

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Music

Great White – Save Your Love

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Articles

Re: Malignant Optimism: The Ugly Duckling

What Was I Thinking?
by Lynn S.

Just what was I thinking in excusing his faults?
Why did I put up with his verbal assaults?
I ignored contradictions, saying “He’s just that way.”
I honestly thought he would grow up someday.

I first tried acceptance to dissuade all his rants.
If love conquers all, then he, too, had a chance.
If he could believe my intentions were true
Then he’d surely find peace. Why, he’d be like brand new!

To know what I now know would have saved me some strife.
He’ll always be frightened of love and of life,
Refusing acceptance of guilt or of blame.
His faults lie with others. It’s always the same.

Just what was I thinking in trying to be kind?
What made me persist when no truth I could find?
I trusted that underneath all of his muck
Was a swan in disguise. Now I just see a duck.

http://forum2.aimoo.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/At-The-End-of-the-Sky-by-LynnS-Read-Only/The-Ugly-Duckling-Malignant-Optimism-1-370230.html

Categories
Articles Inspirational

12 Things Happy People Do Differently <3

12 Things Happy People Do Differently

Categories
Articles Inspirational

365 Simple Pleasures…

I love this website http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/02/14/365-simple-pleasures-to-brighten-a-year/#more-356

Enjoy 🙂

Categories
Articles

Traumatic bonding

For many years I have wondered why people who are in abusive relationships stay, why they take it and allow someone else to have so much control over them, how they could feel love for the abuser. To someone who hasn’t been there it is very hard to grasp the dynamics involved in what the abused person goes through. Traumatic bonding could help many people, men and women, understand their unhealthy attachment to the abuser. I think Stockholm Syndrome and Traumatic Attachment have a lot in common and in some ways is the same thing just for different kinds of abusive relationship, but I am getting off track.

It is helpful to understand that this dynamic between the abuser and the abused is what makes the abused stay keeps them holding on and loving and giving. It is interesting to note that like Pavlov’s dogs a human being’s mind functions similarly. If given love and affection and praise intermittently a person is likely to stay even if being abused. Ah the human mind what a wonder it is. I think this is helpful for someone in an abusive relationship and perhaps to someone who knows someone who is in an abusive relationship.

To heal you have to know what you are dealing with.

Well I found two interesting articles regarding Traumatic Bonding which explain it much better than my ramblings, here’s the links

http://www.thirdage.com/today/dating/cant-let-go-of-a-bad-relationship#comments

Traumatic Bonding

Categories
Inspirational

Desiderata

Here is a beauitful poem a new friend of mine shared with me, enjoy.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Categories
Articles

Things no one tells a step-parent…

Another charming article I found 🙂 enjoy

Things No One Tells A Step-Parent


I’ve been married for one months, twenty six days, and nine hours to my husband… and his two kids.

Oh yes, not only did I win a great looking man with blue eyes and a heart of Jesus, I won a six year-old son and four year-old daughter whom live with us 50% of our life. Contrary to criticism from many people about the horrors of step-children, I haven’t been kicked, screamed at, or called Cruella DeVil yet, so I think I’m doing fairly well.

However, no matter how great things are for our newly blended family, there were certain things no one warned me about prior to instant-parenthood. I know I’m not alone considering the landscape of American families are quilted with step-parents, half-siblings, and blended marriages, so I made a short list of things people don’t tell new step-parents. So gasp, laugh, and be encouraged!

1. You’re selfish. No matter how much money you give to Jon Acuff’s world-change projects or your local homeless man, you’re selfish. You think you’re benevolent, but when forced to share the coveted primetime television slots with a doting four year-old, you realize your reality television shows are no longer cued for your pleasure. My Little Pony and Veggie Tales will always trump your TiVo trash.

2. You’re never too old to learn. It’s taken two children to teach me the most important times of the day are hello hugs, goodbye kisses, and prayers before bedtime.

3. You’re probably taking yourself too seriously. When was the last time you danced in grocery market or jumped in a puddle of rain? It takes 7 major muscle groups to display a worried or angry face, but only 3 to smile. My logic is that I’d rather smile to avoid premature wrinkles and dance in the grocery market to burn additional calories. Yes, I learned this from my six year old step-son.

4. You’re an example of Christ in their life. There’s no denying this. Theology may be hard for children to understand, but when you legally or emotionally adopt a child into your life when you don’t have to, it’s a physical example of Christ loving us and giving Himself for us.

5. You’re capable of more. No matter how much life changes as you become an instant step-parent, there’s always room for more change, growth, and love. Always. No matter how trite your role as pseudo parent can be, there’s room for displaying an agape love, an unconditional love, a Christ-like love for His creations given into your care.

I may not be a mother, but I’m mothering to the best of my ability. Since I’m new to parenting feel free to jump on in and add what you know!

By Bianca, In the Name of Love

Categories
Uncategorized

Random venting :/

I’m tired of your bullshit
I’m tired of your lies
I’m tired of being played hot and cold
I’m tired of crying myself to sleep
I’m tired of getting hurt
I’m tired of you playing us both
I’m tired of you saying things you don’t mean
I’m tired of you making me feel bad
& I wish I could be done with you,
But You Make It So Hard. 🙁
I just want to be yours forever…
without all the bullshit
without all the lies
without all the tears

http://www.wittyprofiles.com/quotes/1047117 – original source

Categories
Articles

Overcoming Fear of Intimacy for People in Love: How to Develop Trust and Vulnerability in Love Relationships

This is just an interesting article I stumbled across … again, thought I’d share. For some of us intimacy comes easily but for others it is a nightmare and they can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel. Well enjoy.

Explore. Learn. Become.

Don’t forget that some people are simply less demonstrative about their feelings; this doesn’t necessarily indicate a fear of intimacy. Remember that you can work to be yourself and develop trust and vulnerability in your love relationships, but you can’t change your loved ones.

Overcoming your fear of intimacy involves:

# Recognizing your habit of hiding behind emotional walls, whether it’s withdrawing silently or being overly effusive and talkative. To overcome fear of intimacy, you need to see yourself objectively.
# Realizing that hiding doesn’t necessarily mean verbal silence. You can hide your real self and still be the extroverted centre of attention or leader of the pack.
# Noticing when you’re hiding, and consciously deciding if you should continue (sometimes you don’t necessarily want to spill your guts – you need to discern when to open up). When you’re trying to overcoming fear of intimacy, you need to choose when to open up.
# Telling your partner that you want to hide, and you feel uncomfortable talking about your thoughts. Overcoming fear of intimacy means sharing your discomfort and fear, especially with someone you love. Communication often makes negative feelings dissipate.
# Practicing sharing one thought at a time. Take small steps with people you trust; soon, sharing yourself will become a habit and you’ll be comfortable developing trust and vulnerability in your love relationships. You can overcome your fear of intimacy – one step at a time.
# Seeking help from a counselor if these steps don’t work for you. There are underlying issues that are making you fearful, and dealing with those directly may be the only way to overcome your fear of intimacy.

http://www.suite101.com/content/overcoming-fear-of-intimacy-a10261
Categories
Articles

Grief…

We’ve all had to face it live with it’s aftermath, but it’s something we all face at one time or another in our lives… grief. We can either let is swallow us whole or we can understand it, live through it and make it out alive on the other side. Awareness of who we are and of what we are feeling can free us in so many ways. Here’s a website I stumbled upon which speaks to me and reminds me that grief whatever form it may take be it the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, whatever it may be, it is not the end of the road it is merely another pit stop on our journey. I let grief rule me once but I will never do that to myself or my loved ones ever again. Hope this website is of some help. If we are aware of our feelings and are in touch with them then the process of grief becomes just a little bit easier, well that’s my view on it anyway.

http://www.journey-through-grief.com/trauma-awareness-and-healing.html