This Charming Psychopath: How to Spot Social Predators Before They Attack
Written on 24 February 2011
by Robert D. Hare, Ph.D.
(Reproduced with permission. © 2007 Psychology Today All Rights Reserved.)
Jeffrey Dahmer. Ted Bundy. Hannibal Lecter. These are the psychopaths whose stunning lack of conscience we see in the movies and in tabloids. Yet, as this report makes abundantly clear, these predators, both male and female, haunt our everyday lives at work, at home, and in relationships. Here’s how to find them before they find you. Continue reading “Aftermath – Surviving Psychopathy”
What Was I Thinking?
by Lynn S.
Just what was I thinking in excusing his faults?
Why did I put up with his verbal assaults?
I ignored contradictions, saying “He’s just that way.”
I honestly thought he would grow up someday.
I first tried acceptance to dissuade all his rants.
If love conquers all, then he, too, had a chance.
If he could believe my intentions were true
Then he’d surely find peace. Why, he’d be like brand new!
To know what I now know would have saved me some strife.
He’ll always be frightened of love and of life,
Refusing acceptance of guilt or of blame.
His faults lie with others. It’s always the same.
Just what was I thinking in trying to be kind?
What made me persist when no truth I could find?
I trusted that underneath all of his muck
Was a swan in disguise. Now I just see a duck.
I think that narcissism is way more prevalent in today’s society than we would like to think. I also believe it is far more serious than most people would give it credit for.
We all know people who have hurt us, lied to us and simply didn’t care that they were doing it even though they claimed to love us be in love with us… This is, I believe, a form of soul rape – they strip you of everything that makes you “you”, make you addicted to them physically, mentally, spiritually and in every way possible. In the end you are left empty and alone. For some reason you crave them, need them, need their praises and “love” because you are now just an attachment of them you exist because they deemed it so, well according to them anyway.
I have seen it for myself and the damage that is done can be overcome but only if the person who wants to overcome it believes they can do it. If not the victim will go back into the same cycle with the narcissist. It could be keeping in contact after the breakup emotionally you are still tied to him or her so this is dangerous territory if you’re trying to break free. If the victim cannot let go the narcissist will forever rule that person’s life directly or indirectly. If you have children it’s harder but not impossible, nothing is impossible. Narcissism is complicated, detailed and full of traps, but once the victim can realize there is a way out and stick to it, they will be free.
Here’s an article I found, which says what I try to say much more eloquently…