What Was I Thinking?
by Lynn S.
Just what was I thinking in excusing his faults?
Why did I put up with his verbal assaults?
I ignored contradictions, saying “He’s just that way.”
I honestly thought he would grow up someday.
I first tried acceptance to dissuade all his rants.
If love conquers all, then he, too, had a chance.
If he could believe my intentions were true
Then he’d surely find peace. Why, he’d be like brand new!
To know what I now know would have saved me some strife.
He’ll always be frightened of love and of life,
Refusing acceptance of guilt or of blame.
His faults lie with others. It’s always the same.
Just what was I thinking in trying to be kind?
What made me persist when no truth I could find?
I trusted that underneath all of his muck
Was a swan in disguise. Now I just see a duck.
We’ve all had to face it live with it’s aftermath, but it’s something we all face at one time or another in our lives… grief. We can either let is swallow us whole or we can understand it, live through it and make it out alive on the other side. Awareness of who we are and of what we are feeling can free us in so many ways. Here’s a website I stumbled upon which speaks to me and reminds me that grief whatever form it may take be it the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, whatever it may be, it is not the end of the road it is merely another pit stop on our journey. I let grief rule me once but I will never do that to myself or my loved ones ever again. Hope this website is of some help. If we are aware of our feelings and are in touch with them then the process of grief becomes just a little bit easier, well that’s my view on it anyway.
… first sign, you’re asking whether or not you are. There is no simple yes or no answer here there are signs to look out for there are behaviors which you need to know about, but at the end of the day you know in your heart of hearts if you are not being loved the way you should be. Here’s an article to read up more. Look at it as a catalyst the start of your journey perhaps… If it were up to me each and every child out there would have a class on how to treat others especially loved ones. People just don’t understand the damage they can cause. Empathy, compassion, even love is a skill lacked by many.